I went to boarding school for a brief period when I was thirteen, but got so homesick I had to leave. I literally couldn’t make it through the day without crying. It was such a change from my London school, where I had been from the age of seven. A big part of this was because I was being bullied. There was one boy who always picked on me. He used to say I reminded him of the ‘migit in southpark’ in front of all the boys in my year whenever I walked past, and would say it made him feel sick to imagine me naked. (of course now I’ve concluded its because he probably fancied me deep down 😉 )
It really, really upset me, and I had never experienced anything like it. l was small, under developed and did look a lot younger than everyone else. I had to have a special suit made for me because I was so little I didn’t fit the sizes. So someone highlighting things I was already sensitive about made me feel incredibly insecure.
The funny thing was, this boy was the smallest boy in the year. I realised that what he was saying about me was what he felt about himself.
Bullies are the ones who are insecure, they aren’t happy people. When you are happy and at peace in yourself the last thing you would think about doing is going and trying to make someone else feel bad, right?
As human beings we project our insecurities onto other people. We do it throughout life, not just at school. In the work place and in relationships. What we fear in ourself, we project onto other people. l am not proud to admit I have even done it myself in the past.
So be aware of the negative tongue, whether its from your mouth or someone else’s. If you’re honest with yourself, that negatively you are trying to put on someone else is probably more prescriptive to you.
This is one of my favourite quotes and its incredibly true.
Your beliefs become your thoughts,
Your thoughts become your words,
Your words become your actions,
Your actions become your habits,
Your habits become your values,
Your values become your destiny.” Ghandi.
Follow the thought and watch out for where it takes you. A negative mind can never create a happy life. If you do feel unhappy try and go back to the cause and figure out why and make a change, rather than reactively pushing it elsewhere and by doing so spreading such negativity.
“The battle you are going through is not fuelled by the words or actions of others; it is fuelled by the mind that gives it importance.” Bullies, Don’t give them the power to hurt you.