Bullies

Caggie Dunlop Fashion I went to boarding school for a brief period when I was thirteen, but got so homesick I had to leave. I literally couldn’t make it through the day without crying. It was such a change from my London school, where I had been from the age of seven. A big part of this was because I was being bullied. There was one boy who always picked on me. He used to say I reminded him of the ‘migit in southpark’ in front of all the boys in my year whenever I walked past, and would say it made him feel sick to imagine me naked. (of course now I’ve concluded its because he probably fancied me deep down 😉 )

It really, really upset me, and I had never experienced anything like it. l was small, under developed and did look a lot younger than everyone else. I had to have a special suit made for me because I was so little I didn’t fit the sizes. So someone highlighting things I was already sensitive about made me feel incredibly insecure.

The funny thing was, this boy was the smallest boy in the year. I realised that what he was saying about me was what he felt about himself.

Bullies are the ones who are insecure, they aren’t happy people.  When you are happy and at peace in yourself the last thing you would think about doing is going and trying to make someone else feel bad, right?

As human beings we project our insecurities onto other people. We do it throughout life, not just at school. In the work place and in relationships. What we fear in ourself, we project onto other people. l am not proud to admit I have even done it myself in the past.

So be aware of the negative tongue, whether its from your mouth or someone else’s. If you’re honest with yourself, that negatively you are trying to put on someone else is probably more prescriptive to you.

This is one of my favourite quotes and its incredibly true.

Your beliefs become your thoughts,
Your thoughts become your words,
Your words become your actions,
Your actions become your habits,
Your habits become your values,
Your values become your destiny.” Ghandi.

Follow the thought and watch out for where it takes you. A negative mind can never create a happy life.  If you do feel unhappy try and go back to the cause and figure out why and make a change, rather than reactively pushing it elsewhere and by doing so spreading such negativity.

“The battle you are going through is not fuelled by the words or actions of others; it is fuelled by the mind that gives it importance.” Bullies, Don’t give them the power to hurt you.

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6 Comments

  1. Tim Daughtry February 6, 2016 / 4:58 pm

    Wow. See you are a very good writer. I knew you would be when you hinted in 2014 that you had a book within you that you promised to share with us. WRITE THAT BOOK! I offer you my proofreading and editing skills FREE OF CHARGE.

    Your insight on Bullying is so spot on. I especially liked you sharing your own self-deprecating confession, “As human beings we project our insecurities onto other people. We do it throughout life, not just at school. In the work place and in relationships. What we fear in ourself, we project onto other people. l am not proud to admit I have even done it myself in the past.” Me too.

    Please keep writing. Now let me go peruse “Seven Questions.” I will gladly share this post.

    Tim, Colorado.

  2. Tim Daughtry February 6, 2016 / 5:02 pm

    Wow. See you are a very good writer. I knew you would be when you hinted in 2014 that you had a book within you that you promised to share with us. WRITE THAT BOOK! I offer you my proofreading and editing skills FREE OF CHARGE.

    Your insight on Bullying is so spot on. I especially liked you sharing your own self-deprecating confession, “As human beings we project our insecurities onto other people. We do it throughout life, not just at school. In the work place and in relationships. What we fear in ourself, we project onto other people. l am not proud to admit I have even done it myself in the past.” Me too.

    Please keep writing. Now let me go peruse “Seven Questions.” I will gladly share this post.

  3. Sofia February 7, 2016 / 6:50 pm

    Hi Cag,

    I’m sure your sick of hearing this, but I discovered you through MIC when I was in my teens and you were always my favourite person on it because you were so sassy and down to earth :).

    So I’m going to get a bit mushy now – but I had horrible self confidence when I was that age, and you were a big part of my inspiration in coping with it. The best realisation I made was that it’s so good just to be yourself, and the way that you were really unapologetically yourself was a real inspiration to me!

    It’s difficult being a girl – because everyone expects you to behave a certain way, say certain things, and accept a lot of bullshit from boys and society in general. I latched onto the way that you coped with these kind of things on MIC, and since you left the show I kept a track of your articles and interviews and things because I always felt like you had something relevant and interesting to say that gave genuinely good advice about the challenges girls face throughout life and why it’s important to not feel like you have to bend to other peoples perceptions of what you should and shouldn’t be.

    Anyway I just wanted to drop you a message to say that, and that I love your blog!

    Thank you x

  4. caggie February 8, 2016 / 9:59 am

    Sofia thank you so much for your kind words.

    I’m so pleased that I was able to help in some way during a hard time. You sound like have grown into a very wise girl.

    It makes me a little sad reading this, because being able to connect to people like you is what I miss about being on MIC – being able to somehow inspire people like yourself to not take any shit! and be themselves… But like you say, its important to be true to yourself- and not bend to other peoples perceptions. It was a chapter of my life, but I think theres betters parts to come- I will get out there again more and hopefully make you proud in my next ventures.

    all the best

    caggie

  5. Nadiamarie February 12, 2016 / 5:19 pm

    Thanks for being so honest caggs your words really resonated with me I felt every single one.
    Keep inspiring. Thanks xx

  6. Lolly March 9, 2016 / 12:46 am

    Hi Caggs,

    I have admired you since watching you for the first time on MIC and always missed you and your sassy shut downs and bright smile and laugh when you left.

    For me being a very sick child, and looking very different to the other children i was bullied throughout all my school years which left incredible scars and most are hard to deal with ..but as sad as it may be to say this, it makes me feel better knowing that you went through the same and came out the other side, you have an incredible outlook on life and it warms my heart to know that I am not alone, i’m 22 now but i will forever take your words with me and remember them always!

    Thank you for sharing your experiences with all of us, I look forward to flitting through the rest of your website. You’re such a good writer and I honestly wish you all the best! Thank you for teaching me to put myself first and to not let anyone change the way that I value myself, i will pass on these lessons to my children and I enjoy your perspective on life a lot more without all the cameras and nasty people around!

    I wish you all the very best that life has to offer! Thank you x X x

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